Everyone has their dips in mood, but when it starts to cause you fatigue, isolate you, deplete you of energy and motivation, and prohibits you from functioning in your relationships, at work, or academically, it is time to seek help. And seeking help is not a sign of weakness, rather a sign of courage and strength. When someone is experiencing depression, even thinking about getting outside or doing anything can feel in itself tiring.

Taking that first step is often the hardest when all you want to do is sleep your life away in the dark with the curtains closed. You go to work and everyone thinks you’re fine, but in reality, it is a chore just to get out of bed in the morning. Taking even that first step is often just the thing you need to boost your mood and come out of the dark depths of depression. If you’re feeling suicidal or you know someone who is, don’t hesitate to call 911 or the national suicide hotline. Here are some other steps to take:

Tip 1: Plug In & Stay Connected

When we’re depressed, our tendency is to isolate, hide, avoid, and escape. It can be the hardest thing to sustain a positive outlook on life. Reaching out for help, even if it’s to your closest most trustworthy friends or family, is the last thing on your mind. You may put yourself at the bottom of your “things to take care of” list, but the less we take care of ourselves, the more it feeds our depression. Remember this is just the depression talking. Plugging back into the people who care about you can shift your entire outlook.

If you truly have no one to reach out to, here are some tips to plug back in:

1. Volunteer at a local shelter, church, or soup kitchen in your area.

2. Find the person you most trust and process your feelings with them.

3. Find a exercise buddy. Hold each other accountable as you go to the gym on a regular basis!

   Or develop your own exercise routine in your home by using these 7 Simple Exercises for Busy People

4. Schedule in a coffee or tea date with a close friend.

5. Go to a concert or movie- finding an outdoor spot is cool too!

6. Go for a car ride with your friends with the windows down and the music turned way up; now move & groove!

7. Go for a walk with a friend or family member.

8. Talk to clergy, teacher, or a wise mentor.

9. Take a new dance or yoga class to meet new people!

10. Join a club in your area using “Meetup.com” or “Events & Adventures”.

Tip 2: Develop a “Pleasurable Activities Toolbox”:

One of the greatest things that adds to our energy poor box is not doing anything. Like a marsh or swamp whose water is stagnant, depression creates the same type of qualities within us: a sort of feeling of death. What’s the difference between a marsh and a river? A river’s waters are moving, vivacious, and clear. So this is one of the answers to depression: MOVEMENT! Do things that relax AND energize you! Part of this is placing healthy boundaries and being realistic about what you can and cannot do.

The more you can do things that are enjoyable, or that were once pleasurable for you, the more you will fill your energy RICH box! Once you start filling it, you may surprise yourself at the energy and mood-boosting that occurs gradually as a result of this!

How to Develop a “pleasurable toolbox” to deal with depression:

Develop a list of pleasurable activities, including COVID-specific ones, like these found here: PLEASURABLE ACTIVITIES LIST. Try to do at least one of these one time per day and watch as your mood magically lifts! Here are some to get your started:

1. Create a Bath-Time Ritual:

   Luxuriate inside a hot bubble bath. Light some candles, put on your favorite soft music, sip some wine, and read your book.

2. Create & Accomplish Your To-Do List:

   Don’t only create it, FEEL THE PLEASURE you get from checking off a few small tasks per day!

3. Connect with Nature:

   Go outside, sit on a blanket under a tree, and read a book (GoodReads.com) or write in your journal. Spend some time communing with nature!

4. Identify Your Radiance:

   Create a list of all your strengths, the things you love about yourself. Stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself these things!

5. Read Classic Literature in a Hammock:

   Get lost inside a Jane Austin novel, or your favorite classic, as you bask in the sun under a tree in your hammock! Try GoodReads.com for some inspiration!

Tip 3: Put Your Negative Thoughts on the Witness Stand!

Use the acronym THINK to put your negative thoughts on the witness stand and reduce depression now!

Are you a Negative Nancy? Do you constantly think your situation is the worst, and that the world is constantly “shitting” on you? That you naturally attract bad energy and have no control over it? In psychology, these are called negative cognitions, or M&Ms (Misery Makers) that fuel your depression.

I once heard one of my clients say, “Man, I wish they taught this in school. If I’d known this stuff growing up, I wouldn’t have been so depressed or on edge.” Yup. Heal your depression with Positive Self-Talk!

Here is a list of M&Ms that will get you thinking:

All-or-nothing thinking. Looking at things in black-or-white categories, with no middle ground (“If everything is not perfect, I’m a total failure; he ALWAYS wins our arguments.”)

Overgeneralization. Generalizing from a single negative experience, expecting it to hold true forever (“That breakup was so hard. I’m never going to find anyone.”)

The mental filter – Ignoring positive events and focusing on the negative. Noticing the one thing that went wrong, rather than all the things that went right. (“I got a B on my report card. I’m so stupid.”

Diminishing the positive. Coming up with reasons why positive events don’t count (“She said she had a good time at the movies, but I think she was just being nice.”)

Jumping to conclusions (assumptions). Making negative interpretations without actual evidence. You act like a mind reader (“She thinks I’m a fool”) or a fortune teller (“I’ll be stuck in this toxic relationship forever.”)

Emotional reasoning. Believing that the way you feel reflects reality (“I feel like crying. No one gets me. I’m so embarrassed.”)

‘Shoulds’ and ‘should-nots.’ Holding yourself to a strict list of what you or someone else should and shouldn’t do, and beating yourself/others up if you/they don’t live up to your rules. (“I shouldn’t have said that. They should have spoken up for themselves.”

Labeling. Classifying yourself based on mistakes and perceived shortcomings (“I’m selfish; I’m a failure; I’m a horrible boss/lover”)

Now put those thoughts on the witness stand!

The Art of Challenging & Reframing:

Inquiring and even challenging some of those negative thoughts is a sure way to counter those negative thought and behavior patterns. Put those thoughts on the witness stand and challenge the heck out of them! Here is a starting place:

1. How do I know this thoughts if true? Not true?

2. Is there an alternate explanation for this situation? What would a good friend tell me about this situation?

3. If I put my emotions aside for just a second, how would I look at this situation then?

4. What would I tell a friend who were in my situation? What would a good friend tell me?

   Watch this video on Mental Health & Happiness

Tip 4: Seek Professional Help If…

If you’ve done everything above - made some lifestyle changes, tried eating healthier, and processed feelings with a trusted friend - and you still feel your depression is worsening, this is the time to seek professional help. If you’re feeling suicidal or you know someone who is, don’t hesitate to call 911 or the national suicide hotline. They are there to help you 24/7. Remember, seeking help is a sure sign of courage and strength. You don’t have to continue feeling like this. In fact, depression is a highly treatable condition and many people do recover! #EndtheStigma

We offer affordable remote, online mental health counseling services so you can access care from the comfort of your home. We provide therapy to Palm Beach County and surrounding areas including West Palm Beach, Miami, Orlando, Delray Beach, Boca Raton, Loxahatchee, Fort Lauderdale, Boynton Beach, and Pompano Beach.

Our services include Counseling, Mental Health, Therapy, Psychotherapy, Psychologist, Insurance in the following areas: Women, Men, Family, Marriage, Teens/Adolescents, Relationships, and Couples,